Hayley's operation diary

Name: Hayley Rental
Age: 30
Type of surgery: Gastric Bypass
Weight before surgery: 25 stone
Target weight loss: 10
Weight loss six months into aftercare programme: 6 Stone

HOW DO I FEEL BEFORE MY OPERATION WHILST ON MY PRE-OP DIET?

05 May 2008

In my house the family all sit down together for the evening meal and so not to do that will be very strange because let’s face it, Iam not going to sit at the table with the family and watch them eat while I slurp on a Slimfast or whatever. I have even told my partner that he will be responsible for cooking for him and the kids until Iam eating again.

I do try to stick to this meal plan and I think largely I succeed because I know of the benefits that are going to come my way, but let me tell you, I sure cannot wait to be eating normal food again...

I shall tell you some things you don’t know about me now. When I look in the mirror I see the most obese person in the universe I may as well weigh in at 80 stones. When I walk/ waddle down the street I think people are staring at the freak. Its almost as if I can hear them singing that “who ate all the pies?” song and I just want to scream “I ATE ALL THE ” well its obvious I did eat them all isn’t it I am after fat and Yes, I am paranoid...


Hayley before surgery

12 May 2008

I am Hayley, a 29 year old mother of two. I am very unhappy about my weighty and feel that now is the time to do something about it . My weight started to increase when I was 20 years old. I was always a bit overweight but very sporty both at school and college and ate well so was never bothered about being a bit bigger as long as I was healthy.

My weight only increased dramatically after I turned 23 with the main gain being my back to back pregnancies with a whopping 6 stone on in 19 months that I have never ever been able to shift. Up until recently the GPs have never been too sympathetic. I have now been diagnosed with PCOS and various obesity related medical problems.

I have dieted and exercised as much as I can and nothing helps my weight. I am thirty at the end of the year and do not want to face that time weighing almost 25 stone.

On the 5th May 2008, I flew to Belgium from Heathrow and met Michelle from WLS Group at the airport as I have opted to have weight loss surgery - I’m having a gastric bypass.

We went by taxi to Bruges. The weather was fine and I didn’t know whether to be nervous or excited. None of the experience seemed real at that point. The drive was about an hour from airport to hotel.

I have to just say the hotel was absolutely lovely. The room was nice and big and the shower/bath just right.

The restaurants in Bruges are amazing. I had escargot (1st time ever) curried scampi, rabbit, Flemish stew and schnitzel- all delicious! But enough about the food I ate for my last supper.

The day I went to the hospital for the medical intake made it a bit more real to me, but not completely. We were met by Dr. Dillemans personal assistant Marc, who was a nice chap and took us all into the “Global Intake” room so that we, from other countries, did not have to sit with the Belgian patients and were treated like VIP’s. I also had a consultation with Dr Dillemans dietician (he has three) who went through the eating regime I was going to have to follow immediately after surgery and in the future, She then weighed me and took my blood pressure.

It was in the global intake room that we met Dr. Dillemans. My first impressions were of a confident, experienced surgeon. When he spoke it was with frankness and honesty and he oozed charisma and knowledge from every pore. The surgeon explained all procedures in full and answered all questions. Dr Dillemans actually listens to his patients concerns, addresses them immediately and soon everyone in the room was comfortable with their surgical procedures. I wish my GP was like that.

The morning of the surgery and going into hospital was like a dream and I started to feel a bit more nervous at this point. I was quite comfortable with the idea of surgery and wasn’t scared in the slightest before now. Michelle came with me and I was called early into anaesthetics. This was it, now or never, crunch time! Eek!

All I remember after saying hello to the anaesthetist was coming round and being told to roll onto my side so a sheet could be put underneath me.

All I can really remember was that the hospital was incredibly hot and I felt dizzy and sick most of the time. I know that was because of the heat though and not anything else. Also the painkiller that was given at first was pure paracetamol which knocked me for six initially. I know that I slept a fair bit in hospital because of the heat, boredom and painkillers.

On the other hand when I felt cool enough I was strolling around and having a laugh with all the nurses. When I was able to drink again I was almost straight onto peppermint tea - trapped wind is the worst!

I don’t know how much you know about being in hospital but you get these anti- embolism stockings which you have to wear all the time. They are uncomfortable and make your feet sweat (well, they do if you are me) I now call them my Thrombo-socks because they stop deep vein thrombosis. You have to wear them on entry to the hospital and up to ten days after the op. I made my partner wash them as soon as I got home.

Since I have been home I have lived on soups, cinnamon options drinks, sugar free vimto, water and runny ready brek. I have had a little mashed potato, very wet with cottage cheese and I think I overdid it and had a little episode of dumping syndrome. I was all dizzy and sweaty and wanted to vomit.

It lasted about 4 minutes though so I was very lucky, these things can last a while, I have been told. I also went to the supermarket and weighed myself on my trusty BMI calculating machine and to my surprise; it reckons I had dropped from 157kg (5th May) to 151.7kg (11th May) that’s around 12lb. How good is that?!


Hayley the day after surgery - Hayley two days after surgery

19 May 2008

I have to tell you that I have weighed myself today and that my trusty BMI machine at Tesco says I now weigh 149.8kg which is 23stone 8lb or something like that. What a jump in less than two weeks- that’s almost a stone and a half off! I can hardly believe it. I can however allow a few lbs this week because I am on my period, and I can put on up to 5lb so I think its safe to say it’s a definite stone and a half off give or take a lb or two.

Since I came home form hospital I have had a bag of a ten day supply of injections, which I am glad to say is finally over with. I don’t know why but the last few injections were a bit more uncomfortable than the first 7 or 8 but hey ho, they are finished with now. I also have to take Omeprazole for the next three months to stop stomach ulcers.

I have made an appointment with my doctor for Friday morning to give him the paperwork and discuss the bypass. I am not sure what will be said but when I think the doctor I usually see at the surgery put me forward for NHS funding for a bypass, I think they will be cool about it; If the doctor is not cool about it, then that’s just too bad because I have had the op now.

I am still supposed to be on a liquid and puree diet which is proving a little harder than I thought. I was worried I ate too much and so I spoke to Colleen, the WLS Group nutritionist today and found out I was chewing my food up so much that I was able to fit a bit more in than was really good for me. I was scared I was stretching my pouch.

I have mostly been eating runny readybrek, soups and slimfast though and I have dumped a couple of more times- I can tell you now that I absolutely do not enjoy the experience of dumping. My head spins, I get hot and sweaty and I feel sick. I find that I am stopping myself eating well before I think I am full because I do not want to repeat the dumping process.

It is awful this eating lark now because I don’t feel hungry and I don’t get the full feeling from belly to brain and I don’t really know why, could be because my insides are still settling down. I only really remember to eat when I look at the clock and realise hours and hours have gone past.

I keep being told I have had major surgery and that’s probably why I am so tired after my usual activity. Let me tell you, that’s a hard concept to get my head round. I am the type of person that has to get up and do for the family and I am finding very hard at the moment. I cannot go shopping without feeling knackered afterwards and I cannot cook the kid’s tea without wearing myself out. In short it could drive me nuts. I have to look after my family and that’s that. My partner has been a pillar of support though and keeps telling me to sit down and relax - What would I do without the support of my chap eh?

26 May 2008

I don’t even know where to start when I talk about this week. I have dumped and eaten all the wrong way. In fact I feel like I am about to dump now. I’m sweaty and feel really hot - I think I need a lay down.

Ok, feeling a little better now.

I have discovered that I can no longer drink apple juice (unless it is heavily watered down) This caused a terrible dumping at the farm on my baby’s 5th birthday. I wouldn’t have minded so much but we had several of her school friends and a few other parents there to help out.

I won’t be doing that again in a hurry.

The other terrible thing that happened was that I got some egg mayonnaise stuck half way down to my pouch. I cannot describe the pain. I thought I would be ok with a bit off egg mayonnaise as its soft. I thought I had chewed it as well but no, a great big lump of egg got stuck and I could barely breathe with pain.

Anyone that has a bypass will at some point experience a similar if not the same as me at some point, that much I am sure of.

I did weigh myself Saturday night and I am sure because I am not exercising and eating a bit more now the weight loss has slowed down as I have now lost a total of 9kg which is 20lb and my weight was 23s 6.5lb or something like that- I have lost the bit of paper and it may even be slightly more in terms of weight loss.

Walking round the farm almost killed me, I was exhausted by the time I got home at 7pm. So I can almost guarantee that doing that activity would have dropped me another lb or two. Now its half term break for the kids from school and who knows how I will cope this week- its been nearly three weeks since the op but I still get very tired after doing even the school run or a shop at the supermarket. I shall have to see how it goes and report next week.

02 Jun 2008

I weighed myself yesterday and I am now 23st 4lb. I am so pleased. I booked myself in for a haircut tomorrow to celebrate my weight finally coming off! That’s a total loss now of 24/25lb. It can only get better from here. I am now counting the days until I start exercising again. I just want to get my boxing gloves on and go for it!

It hasn’t all been happy with the bypass this past week though. I have had terrible belly ache and I don’t think the pain is my stomach or new pouch. It’s me wanting to blow off ! It is my own fault for eating Brussels sprouts (I love them) thank heavens for those chewable wind relief tablets.

I am also still suffering the killer indigestion feeling too; although this only came on when I ate rice, however after the first couple of forkfuls and a little drop of drink the rice didn’t cause my too many more problems. It is funny now how little things I never thought would cause me a problem to eat or drink, now are.

With the children off school this week it was a bit crazy. We had lots of outings and I was so exhausted every night that I was falling asleep before the children had even gone to bed. I think it is not only the surgery that is causing this but also the increase activity.

My partner is noticing little things too; since I have dropped almost 2 stone in weight, I no longer groan when I stand up from a bending or sitting down position. I am able to stand longer without my Plantar Fasciitis giving me grief.

I want to do things instead of sitting around crying that I cannot do things because of my weight. I think it’s safe to say that there are good elements of the bypass and not so good . It’s not an easy decision to make and this is taking a fair bit of getting used to.

I am really liking the way that I am able to eat a little of what I want without putting on weight. I am eating more normal foods now whereas before the bypass I was extremely funny about what I ate; most of my diet consisting of fresh chicken/ fish and vegetables and rice. The most bizarre thing is that I don’t crave chocolate all the time.

My eating has totally changed. I mean even now I am typing this mid-morning and I am eating a child’s ready meal of spaghetti and meatballs- maybe not the most brilliant choice of food but it has hidden vegetables and about 5 tiny meatballs and its fairly juicy. Providing I chew it all properly it should go down and will fill me up for most of the day.

I also make sure that I do not eat more than 2000 calories a day now and I know with the bypass I don’t absorb them all. I have been told this week that the bypass is the cheaters way to lose weight and I tell you I absolutely had to correct that person by telling them that the operation was recommended by my GP, which it was; and that I still have to be careful about what I eat because too fatty or sugary food can cause me problems and that I will still need to exercise because otherwise I will have the most horrendous folds and rolls of loose skin- also without eating properly or exercise I won’t get maximum effect of my bypass and it will take me probably four times as long to lose all my excess weight- so how is that a cheaters way?

Needless to say they soon shut up! The only thing I will hold my hand up to is that to my mind it is the best way to keep the weight off and if that makes me a cheat on the diet front then I most certainly can live with that.

12 Jun 2008

Having weighed myself on the 9th June I could not believe my eyes when the scales were on 22 stone 12lb. That’s more than a 2 stone loss in total in one month! I am over the moon. I just think to myself, my weight loss wouldn’t be this quick if I were on a band. All I keep saying to the staff at the WLS is “…and I’m not even exercising yet!” Imagine when I am how much faster the loss will be- I cannot wait (weight) to get going. I want to laugh out loud.

People in the school playground are noticing a bit too, and are asking me if I am losing weight. I just say yes. Some of the mums I talk to know about the op and others don’t. I assumed at first it had gone round the playground like wildfire and I do feel a bit like I am on “Hayleywatch” with the mums that do know. You know, are they whispering behind their hands “ooh, she hasn’t lost much this week…” they probably don’t and the other mums have far better things to talk about than me but paranoia is hard to shift. It’s a different type of paranoia though to before the operation.

I know I have lost 2 stones and it doesn’t seem that much when I want to lose a grand total of 14/ 15 stones but I already notice that my body is changing. It’s mostly noticeable to me on my belly; before the op my fat was fairly solid fat now the weight is coming off its going more jelly-like. I don’t think I like that which is why I am itching to start exercising so I can try and tone some up with the weight loss.

Other changes I notice are my hands and feet. Before the operation they were all swollen and with fat wrists and swollen ankles they looked in proportion to my body. Now my wrists are slimmer and my ankles don’t swell. If I hold my hand up it now looks huge stuck on the end of my slimmer forearm and normal sized wrist. It’s the same with my feet- my shoes are feeling looser and they seem too long for me with my ankles smaller my foot length is more exaggerated. It’s bizarre.

I have also spoken to a few people recently that want to lose weight and have asked me about the surgery. I just cannot tell them enough that it’s the best thing ever! Although I don’t tell them that I have been a bit naughty this week and tried what I call the “cheat the band trick” and managed to eat more than I should have when I went to dinner at a friends earlier this week.

I just remind myself that I cannot actually cheat this bypass and even though I can fit a little more food in, it is not so much that I will be sick or split my pouch and besides I am terrified I will dump in public again: dumping is not a good look for me at all. I will not give you my method here but let us just say it took almost an hour to eat my dinner. I also didn’t manage to eat it all, which to me is a good thing. I just don’t want to appear rude when the person had spent the time cooking me a dinner. My portion was still smaller than it would have been pre-op but it was more than I would normally give myself. Like I said I still didn’t manage to eat it all, so not as naughty or harmful as it could have been.

Still, I think my 6lb reduction this week indicates that I don’t really do much wrong when it comes to eating normal food now. I thought I had been eating rubbish all week explaining that my attitude to food has changed somewhat from “what SHOULD I eat?” to “what do I WANT to eat?” So I submitted a food diary to Colleen (WLS group nutritionist) and the feed back I got from it was good, now I am bit worried my confession about going out will make her think differently of me. Rest assured, Colleen, I do not intend to make it a habit and will always be more good than bad.

I really like that I sometimes when I am eating whatever it is that I fancy at the time, after a few mouthfuls I just turn around at times and say “I don’t want that” and can leave it on the plate. Not always necessarily because I am full but just because I am satisfied on having a taste of something now instead eating of the whole shebang. It’s like in my head I am saying to myself “I have tried that now, what’s next?” without actually needing to eat the next.

10 July 2008

I must be the only person in the world to have gained weight on a bypass! I went to the supermarket the other week and weighed myself. I was shocked to find the scales said I was a stone heavier than the last time I blogged… I was so shocked I asked the customer service desk the last time the machine had been serviced. The woman asked to see my printed receipt and she started to laugh. I asked her what was so funny. There was no way I could have gained weight; I have had a gastric bypass! She then told me that not only had I gained at least a stone but that I had also gained a foot or more in height. So it all balanced out then because the extra height made my BMI a lot lower than it should actually be.

I am pleased to say that I have now lost more than three stone at the time of writing this blog. I cannot believe the difference. 2 months ago I was wearing a 28- 30 and this week my 24 jeans are starting to feel loose on the legs. My 28 joggers are still my fave item of clothing though even though they are so baggy on the bum it hangs to my knees, I guess its old habits?

My palette has changed so much too. I love vegemite on toast now and hate sausages. I also start a meal and then decide I don’t actually want/ like it. It’s very strange. I have tried to eat more than I should a few times though and been quite ill. Like last night for instance, I wanted cheese on toast and ate 2 slices! I am stopping myself from eating and portion control is usually not such an issue for me but just occasionally I want more and try to have it. I am scared that one day I will explode my pouch from my greed. I think I am careful most of the time though.

I took the kids to the cinema this week. This is usually a bit traumatic for me because I have to wedge myself into the chair but this time I just sat down and had around 2 inches to spare either side of me! I know this doesn’t sound much but any fat person reading this that has had to wedge themselves into a chair or avoids the cinema or whatever because of bum/chair issues will understand what a big thing this is. I actually fit into the chair comfortably- no fidgeting, no wedging just sat straight down and I had a small bag of minstrels and a bottle of water and was fine!

I am planning to run in the mother’s race at my daughter’s sports day at school next Thursday too. I would never have done that a few months ago. The best thing is don’t even care who sees my jelly wobble when I run. I have only lost a fifth of my target weight but I don’t care and am no longer embarrassed about my weight because I know the weight coming off. At my heaviest I was 25s 1lb and I am now a few lbs less than 22 stone and the loss just keeps on going. I need to start exercising soon though and I think I am going to spar with my chap tomorrow in the garden for an hour; providing the rain keeps off that is.

This initial weight loss and the knowledge it most certainly not be coming back and the bypass ensures that I lose more and am no longer on a diet is quite liberating. Today I can safely say I love my bypass!

20 Aug 2008

SO much has happened this past month that I hardly know where to begin. I crashed through the 4 stone weight loss mark, I have had a couple of trips to the doctors and I have done some exercise!

I don’t even know where to begin with how happy I am about my weight loss. People are starting to notice too. I am however, getting a bit sick of saying “yes, I do feel better.” And “no, I’m not really doing a lot more; I am just doing it faster.”

The trips to the doctor are a little more straight forward to explain; I am getting pains in my knees and ankles since losing weight and it has been explained to me that I am probably walking differently and so putting a strain on tendons/ ligaments. Apparently it is very normal with a hefty weight loss. For pain relief I recommend Movelat gel. The other trip to the doctor was far more serious though and it is all to do with the vitamin B12 injection bypass patients are supposed to have.

As far as I know bypass patients are supposed to have a vitamin B12 injection every 13 weeks (3 months) and me being me, totally forgot about it so feeling itchy and low I went for a blood test and discovered a vitamin B12 shortage and a low white blood cell count. I have been prescribed a course of vitamin B12 injections (which need to be administered professionally) and they are not entirely pleasant. I am going to have another blood test in 4 weeks to check vitamin levels and white blood cell levels. Let’s face it, no one likes injections and these are deep muscular ones and make your arm ache, the only other way to have it is in your bum.

I also went for an MRI on my shoulder and finally fit into the machine as well- I went to have this scan just before the op and wouldn’t fit into the scanner so told them to give me a few months and see what happens- I couldn’t believe it! I just slid right in! I was asked how I had lost so much weight so quickly and fibbed a bit to avoid the million questions I usually get when I expose my bypass. Can’t say that I don’t like the attention though- because I do!

As for the exercise bit, I have taken the children out on several long excursions. Walking around museums/ exploring the Devil’s Punchbowl and a day of cinema and shopping with my daughter- we shopped for almost 3 hours and all we bought were hair bands, an umbrella, some DVDs, a handbag and a belt- all but the handbag was hers! Needless to say that by the end my knees were aching and my plantar fasciitis had flared up but I didn’t feel so terrible that I couldn’t cope with it. I wouldn’t have been able to do that at 25 stone. It just so happens that every time I go to the cinema or something with every stone off a bit more room appears in the seat and I can get in and out of cinema/theatre seats comfortably and with a gap so I can fidget and get comfortable whilst I am there- I love it.

My eating is now getting really strange. I have days where I can eat a mountain of food (well it seems a mountain to me) and days where I don’t eat hardly anything. I am not able to drink whole milk or slimfasts anymore and cheese (depending on type) generally gives me a bad belly. My palette has changed so much since the bypass. I can’t really eat Chinese but love Indian (as long as it’s dry-ish) I don’t like sausage-y products now and the most I can manage is a slice of pepperoni on a pizza otherwise I feel ill. I am also starting to love crisps- something I wouldn’t touch before the op. Chocolate is not my downfall anymore and I can eat it or leave it, I do still love a bit of dark chocolate though.

I know I am still on a “I can eat what I like” trip which probably has a lot to do with my higher junk food intake but as I reason it out I will get back to fruit and veg probably quite soon because I love vegetables and could probably increase my weight loss by eating how I did before the bypass but I ate fruit and veg for 5 years- I am having a break!

Emotionally and my opinions have changed a bit too. I had a very interesting conversation the other day, a woman I know refuses to use the word fat when describing people and calls us big instead. She is not overweight and I tried to tell her that I don’t mind being called a fat person because that’s what I am. I don’t know how fat people can be offended by that quite frankly. I am fat, I am not a big girl I am a fat woman! Anyone getting this op obviously realises they are fat and it seems to me that anyone that doesn’t want to use the word fat are in denial. I was called rude; maybe I am but trying to sugar coat things doesn’t make the situation any better. Fat is fat and to deny what you are, is the real insult here as far as my opinions are now concerned. It was pointed out to me after the conversation though, that even though I constantly referred to myself as fat and obese before the surgery, this opinion about labelling wasn’t really as forceful before the bypass.

Finally, answers on postcard please.

Even though I am still fat, when I see people are bigger than me (first time in a long time) why am I so critical?? It’s not just their fatness either its how awful a lot of them look, as if they don’t care. I know I used to be the same and I still don’t have a great wardrobe or take a lot of notice (I do take more than I used to though) about how I look but I am still doing it- I know I shouldn’t but I can’t seem to help it. I am not a horrid person and have no problem with fat people- being one myself, I just want to grab these people by the hair and make them get a bypass so they can feel as glad as me that they aren’t riddled with obesity related conditions like I was.

This is the most confusing part of my weight loss, the feeling of being so critical about people and how they look when I wasn’t like it before. I seem to be taking the self loathing and self critique and using it on others. The questions I want answered are: Why am I doing it? Does it make me a bitch? Will I be able to curb it before it gets out of control and I turn into a diva?

05 Sep 2008

The first thing I have to report is the most amazing response I got to my 5 stone weight loss at the school gates when my girl started back yesterday. I had a lot of the class mums coming up to me and commenting on how different I look. Have I lost weight? Have I done something new to my hair? (Incidentally I haven’t done a thing with my hair since I had it cut in June) How you could totally see it in my face and how my clothes are so different and how they hang etc etc.

Even the headmistress of the school came and told me I was looking fabulous and I look like I have recovered well from my op. My daughters old class teachers (who will have the pleasure of my son from the 16th) even made a point of telling me I look great! I cannot tell you how good it felt. I floated out of the school gates on the way home.

Then today my neighbour came to me and said that my chap had told her husband about the op, which was good because she had wanted to ask me all summer long how I was losing weight but felt awkward because it could have been a medical issue. I then told her all about it and she joked it wont be long before we are sharing clothes- she is fairly glam so that wont be a problem for me but I doubt she would want to share my mouldy old clothes!

I am now almost at pre-pregnancy weight for the first time in almost 6 years! Another stone off and I am then at the same weight I was in 2002 when I fell with my girl. And all before I turn 30! Hooray! I could shout it from the roof tops. I am so happy not to be hitting 30 years old at 25 stone and feeling like cack. It’s funny because I always said that I would diet if I hit 20 stone and would kill myself if I went over that. Yet I am still here and no diet helped me long term; Praise be to the bypass! They should give these on the NHS. To me the band seems like too much hard work. Saying that though, the dumping syndrome thing with the bypass is horrible and the tri-monthly injections for life aren’t very funny either.

I can see it on my body now too. Although I haven’t dropped many dress sizes my stomach is going in- (yay!) and south- (boo!) at the same time, my legs are looking slimmer and so are my fore arms. I need to buy new shoes because the ones I am wearing now are for larger feet and mine no longer swell and I am moving about quicker; which reminds me to tell you my joints aren’t hurting so much now- thanks movelat and weight loss. The only thing that’s not so great is my boobs are getting smaller. I am not used to small boobs, even when I was slimmer I had good sized boobs so that will be sorted in time- you mark my words!

I have had the prescription B12 injections and Monday/Tuesday I will be going for my blood test. Hopefully this time it will be fine. I still feel rather tired a lot so I hope that I can sort this out fairly quickly from now. I will post about the results in the next blog. This B12 and bloods episode has made me plot in the diary when the next injection is due because there is no way I am going to be missing it again- I felt awful. I strongly urge any recent or future bypass patients not to forget the B12 injection, if you do it will be a nuisance to put right and mean lots of injections and 2 blood tests instead of just the jab you should have had.


12th February 2009

Well, I am flabbergasted! I went today and had a health assessment. It was so much better than I expected.

Before the op I had a BMI of 60. My cholesterol was 5.9mmol/L and my blood pressure was 146/ 98 or something like it; Now I have a BMI of 45.7. My cholesterol is now 5.4mmol/L and my blood pressure is now 119/84 with a resting heart rate of 66bpm. I also found out that my blood glucose level is now 4.4mmol/L which is extremely good, as level 5.8 or below is very good and 5.8 to 7.99 is just ok and relatively normal.

Since being at the gym I am not really feeling fitter and have lost absolutely no weight but I will keep plugging on. I go 3 to 5 times per week and I take the children swimming there twice a week which is to be increased to 3 times per week in the summer. I have also been told a million times that muscle weighs more than fat…



15 March 2009

I had a total shock this week. I weigh myself in my swimsuit every time I take the kids swimming and so far since joining the gym had lost no weight or inches. This week however, I am finally fitting properly into all my size 20 clothes and weighing myself on Tuesday morning in my swimsuit before aqua-fit, I discovered that I have lost 6lb. How did this happen? I am not sure if I am feeling any fitter and I certainly don’t FEEL slimmer but I must be.

But, I am absolutely thrilled to bits that I am starting (in my mind) to look like an average overweight person and not the obese hulk that I was. I do still see myself on occasion as the massive bulk that was but the smaller my clothes get the more I see the looseness of my skin and can’t wait to get to target and have the lot cut off! Just another 7 stone to go!

01 September 2009

Since losing weight i am far more active as I have lost 7 stone. I am hoping to lose another 6 stone, some of that maybe with more surgery but overall i feel better and look much better.

I am surprised that my boobs are still here, smaller and luckily not sagging yet but there is time and the more weight to lose i know this could very well happen, I was a C or D (depending on where the bra was purchased) before i got fat so dont want them to vanish altogether.

Its so nice to be able to go and buy clothes and shoes from the shops now instead of being so embarrassed that i ordered online and tried things on at home- im now a dress size 18-20 in tops and barely into a 20 in trousers. I used to be size 30/32- what a massive drop in a year! i am doing a little comfort eating but my general attitude to food is that i will have what i want because i can only eat so much, instead of the quantities i was eating before- and i love thai food even more since i lost all this weight. I have also enrolled my children at the gym so i can take them swimming.

Ihope that in the next year i will lose almost all if i don’t get to my target = watch this space !